Was trying out new clothes at G2000 today. And i think i spent a tat too long in the fitting room... Just staring at myself.

Gosh. I'm not exactly short. Standing at 1.73m, i think i am okie height for a guy. Fat and ugly yes. Like i put on a lot of weight loh. Ever since i ORDed in '05.

I think during the army was the period when i looked my best. Coz they keep you really fit back then... Am simply too not discipline to keep my own workout schedule. I had one. Which i never kept to. Sigh...

Was talking to KH about careers. The pull and push factor of my career choice. The very same pull factor is the very same push factor for me to really go forward and take on that course of work. Fitness and IPPT. The pull factor is that the demand of the job will require me to keep adequately fit. As i am not discipline enough to keep my workout schedule, this job will forced me to keep one and keep to it! So i will become and remain lean and fit. The push factor, what if i still cannot do it. It will affect my performances and promotions and put more stress onto me to do well in something that i all along struggled with.

Gosh. I don't know.


Edited at 2310hrs:
Vincent's blog entry just contradicted what i wrote above. Well, the key idea is to not think too much. Live life as it is. And to accept myself (and how i may look). "accept things (including yourself) as what they are without being attached emotionally to the outcome".

That's it. I have my answer. In a span of 20-minutes after i put this up. Hmmm.