i am upset.

tommorrow is the solemnisation date for my cousin's wedding. my family is invited to witness the ceremony, which will take place in the evening. my mother asked for day-off to attend the ceremony, but was turned down by her boss, given the reason: not enough manpower.

its not like she requested for it last minute, she put up the request at least a week ago. NBCB la her boss. i sincerely wished her boss would meet with an accident and die or something.

and this is not the first, it happened many times. too many times till i don't even want to waste my breathe mentioning.

had been urging her to change job for the longest time i can remember, yet nothing is going into her head. i can understand why she held on dearly to the job. which pains me. deeply. we need the money.

i am not rich. i have not start earning. my mum/dad's income is only sufficient to maintain the family. any disturbance to the equilibrium, we are a goner. for example, a lost of job.

do you see the point? if you have been following my blog, you would know that i pursued a social work degree, but is not planning a career as a social worker. coz a social worker earns peanuts (currently). i would love to do the job, if i live in my own world. but i need a decent paycheck. so that my parents will not have to work so hard. so that i can provide them with a decent monthly allowance and that they can reduce work hours. and yes, i plan to get marry. even though i don't have a girlfriend yet. all this needs money.

i respect john. john is an aspiring social worker, a friend and a fellow coursemate. john is 33 this year, and he is getting married (Congrates!!). y do i respect him? coz he was able to survive on a paycheck of less than 2k for the longest period, doing what he believed is his calling. now that he is planning on marriage, he said to me that he now needs to plan his finances carefully, he wants kids, yes i understand. he (and his soon-to-be wife) will need to tread carefully, calculate and plan whatever is necessary for the future. to them, adequate comfort is enough.

in reality, i don't want to be like him. i want to be prepared. i want the best for my kids and my wife, because i understand what it means to have nothing. and something out of nothing.

my kids don't have to live in luxury. i don't want them to either. they must experience a little hardship. to appreciate life. but what i do want for them, is to live in a little above decent place, experience a little above decent life and lived a little above what his father had been through.

and yes, money and a little above decent paycheck is necessary.