钟声响起归家的讯号
在他生命里
彷佛带点唏嘘
黑色肌肤给他的意义
是一生奉献 肤色斗争中
* 年月把拥有变做失去
疲倦的双眼带著期望
# 今天只有残留的躯壳
迎接光辉岁月
风雨中抱紧自由
一生经过□徨的挣扎
自信可改变未来
问谁又能做到
可否不分肤色的界线
愿这土地里
不分你我高低
缤纷色彩显出的美丽
是因它没有
分开每种色彩

Meaningful songs that talks about Nelson Mandela's fight in race inequality in South Africa. Song's quite old school, but Beyond rocks! Although i don't know much of their songs.

It seems that i don't feel exceptionally happy nowadays.

Or was i ever happy for as long as i could remember?

It seems that i have forgotten how to smile. The laughter that's shared among friends seems only for the spur of the moment. Like the high of the heroin effect. That wields off almost as quickly as it had taken effect. And that leaves you craving for more. But you know, at the end of it all. That the high will never fill the emptiness in the heart.


I don't know. There is nothing in my life that should make me sad right now. Yet, there is also nothing in my life that i should be exceptionally happy about.

Probably, the only thing that i could be happy about, is that finally after 2.5years of struggles for my studies, i can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel... That is if my train don't buang right the moment before it exits its tunnel. Rest asure people, that Alvin IS NOT going to touch anymore books! Not at least in the next 5-years.

Yes yes, the lazy bug is in. Haven't been diligent with updates for a while. Going to find excuses for myself. Just started work! Tuition commitment! Thesis paper commitment! Loads of excuses.

Bleah

I'l be back! Soon. I hope

(Click "play" then read this entry...)



In July 2005, i began to embark on a journey, a jouney that would impact and change my life, and allowing me to step into, touch and change more lifes. I took up the course in Social Work.

It began my 2years of self-discovery. What went through was not just the professional knowledges, there were discovery of strengths and weaknesses, of values and ethics, and most importantly, of knowing oneself.

It was a big risk. Even at the point when i was to put down my signature on the acceptance letter, i was still questioning myself. "Is this what i want?" "Will i regret my decision?" It seems to me that i have grown, from the day i stepped into the classroom, until today.

I remember, on my first day of class, my tutor, Kumar, asked the class "Why do you want to be a social worker?" I was unsure, i remember giving a vague answer, something like "Passion...". Today, if you asked me, i would have matured enough to tell you more than "Passion", its the belief in the "Worth of mankind" and its the "wanting, to be able to touch lives" that brought me here. If i am able to just impact one life, one soul, to live for the better, i would have succeeded.

I must truly be thankful, that although i have my ups and downs throughout my journey, i have not looked back upon and say that i would have chosen another path, for this is what i want and will do.

2 enduring years of night classes, and finally, we are nearing the end. What's left for me would be the 3-months long placement and the thesis paper. The modules, the theories are all done with, finished. So, theortically, i should be qualified as a social worker. I now looked back, and i asked myself "What have i learned that will be useful in my future work?" "Am i ready?" "Did Monash got me ready for what's to come?" I'm not sure. It seems that Monash prepared me for what to expect, and the basics of being a qualified SW, but it just seems that there are tonnes of knowledge out there that i am unsure of, how then can i be truly qualified?

I must be glad, again, that throughout my 2years, i discover, grown to like, the area that i truly want to explore into after graduations. Its amazing, working with youths was where i started from, from then, i moved on, to working with youth offenders, the belief in their capacity for change, and then discovering the niche area where i want to be proficient at, REHABILITATIONS.

Yes, Prisons work.

Although, after 2years of going through a Social Work course, i decided at the end of it that i shall not termed myself as a social worker, i am a social worker by training and i will continue to use my knowledges and skills to impact change (in my own way), to uphold social work ethics. And to contribute back to the field that made me what i am today.

People might say, if i am not to become a social worker, isn't that a waste of my education? No. How many social work trained people are not termed social worker? Are POs social worker? CPOs? Social Policy Offr? Indirect workers? Community workers? Rehab Offr? No, there are not termed social workers, but their social work backgrounds enable them to understand and function well within their fields. And i believe, by heart, they are still social workers, working with the marginalised lot and impacting change in society, in their own way.

It been a long long journey, of self-discovery, of pathing out a road unknown, of falling down and getting up, of pursuing what the hearts tell me to, of knowing so many great people along the way and while the educational road is ending, the real path has not. It has just began.

My beloved friend (phui! hahaha) made me run 8km today. 8km loh!!!! How long have i not run 8km? My god, i haven't even been running for like the past 2months!

After our run, we even went to play basketball! Total workout today.

I think he can be a PTI loh, while running, he keeps saying things like "Come on come, we can do it one..."

>.<"

"Shack liao la!!!"

Anyway, must say thanks to him, if not for him, i wouldn't have pushed myself so hard today. Thanks HC! (Although i think he never come in here la)

I like the feeling of after-runs, its like you can really breath again! You feel very fresh and your mind becomes very clear! =)

But i believe, tommorrow, i will wake up with aching legs, calf, biceps, triceps, stomach, chest, whatever you can think of la, its going to be pain pain pain! @.@"

Okie, now i am just going to take a long nice shower and... start doing assignment!!

Was browsing through Hanz's blog and spotted this personality test. Quite like to do personality tests, maybe coz i still seek to explore and understand who i am. Anyway. The test is pretty interesting, go do it sometimes. Reflects me pretty well too.

Tests' called Colorgenics. Uses some colours that you choose in the order of your preferences to determine your personality.

The results of mine as follows (shall highlight the parts that i think particularly applies):



You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your 'love for your fellow man (or women)' will give you peace of mind. You need people - people around you to care for you and to show you that they care (YES, very much). It is this hope that keeps you going, the hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding (YES, i seek others approval a lot). You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.

In actual fact you are not willing to exert yourself in any way. You have that truly 'laid back' attitude and are unwilling to extend yourself or exert undue effort. You feel that to move forward - be it in your life style or in business relationships - would require more energy output than you are prepared to give at this time. (YES, i am a very lazy person by nature =p) You want to take life easy and your attitude is such that 'Enough is Enough'.

You feel that you deserve far more than is being attributed to you, but there is no-one to whom you can turn to for sympathy and understanding. (Yea loh...) Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offence, but as matters stand you realise that you will have to make the best of things as they are.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness (YES! Don't leave me alone!) and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone (In line with my plans to travel alone ;)).

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. (Is this about my research? If yes... YES!) You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. (Hmm... This one don't appy lah, i don't feel unvalued, at least not now.) So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

I think i should say, yes, reflects me SUPER well. I should highlight those that i think don't apply instead, i realised.

Heh.