I have a little chat with my dear friend, Phyllis, on our way home together last night. She asked me if i was "always uncomfortable around girls?" Hell no. Why would i be? I am not gay.

But i'm not surprise she made such an observation. Coz i tend to be quieter among them (the girls), choosing to shut up. Why you might ask me. I think i am pretty conscious of myself. And i kinda undertood myself as someone not capable of many intelligent thoughts, so i thought i better not make a fool of myself, by talking crap... Especially when i feel my command of the English Language is not that up to notch (some people might laugh at this!)

But i think it sucks when i wanted to express some feelings in English, and the words just dosen't come out right. And i don't know if i am wrong to say this, but i think this is fairly common in Singapore, where many people tend to be able to converse better in Mandarin but write better in English. Coz i think i write pretty well (well, at least a little better than me writing in Mandarin).

What to do, when i grew up in a family where Mandarin/Teochew was pre-dominantly the primary language. In school (pri/sec/poly), i converse mainly in Mandarin. When i enter Army, worst, i started conversing in a mixture of Hokkien+Mandarin... So, how/when did i had the chance to brush up my conversational English? Well, it must be after i ORD and started working. Over the past few designations that i've being brought through, i was "forced" to converse in English. As a teacher in RGS (English is the median for education remember?), as a Trainee Probation Officer (i don't converse English with my probationers, but my colleagues were mainly England-speakers...) and finally as a staff of SCS where there were people other than the usual cheenas. Of course, school and discussion helps.

Anyway, i hope my confidence in this improve (a lot). Coz i'm gonna be starting full-time work next year!