There are some thoughts that i had wanted to tell last night too. On Saturday, i rejected 2 invitations to 2 different church activities. Why? Coz i know its wrong for me to go.

If you asked me, am i a Christian, a Buddhist or a Taoism. I will tell you, i am neither.

I was involved with the Trinity Church for a while last year, and to be honest, i like being there. I loved the services (though i don't like cell for some reason, no not the people, its just that i don't like cell generally). And yea, they were inviting me to return, but i kept pushing them off.

I have my reasons. I liked the words of the bible. But i don't think i will ever commit should my ties with my family remains. The reason, my mother. A very devoted Taoist, very adhering to its belief and will dutifully pray on the 1st, 15th and 30th of the lunar month, not forgetting the many BIG festivals on which even today, i can't remember except for a few. Its amazing, that i'm not influenced in her ways, although i go to the temple once in a while.

She doesn't really take into the idea that i attend services. And i can totally understand that. She put in a lot of effort for the family, especially in 2006, where the family went through many dark times together. I'm not talking about what happened, but it was a tough ride. Besides that, besides what we were going through, she enthusiastically supported me in my studies, knowingly well how much it costs.

So tell me, what can i do? I am indebted. I will NEVER DO THINGS THAT HURT HER!

For seeing the pain she goes through, i will never hurt her this way by doing things against her wish. Cause, never in my life will i ever be able to repay her for whatever she did and is doing for me.

I hope you understand.