I have thoughts of giving up the Honours Thesis... I'm such a quitter... NOOOO!

I must hang in there! Its only the second week. Sigh... They tell me its the starting that is difficult, i truly hope so. Coz its reaaalllly difficult!

I must pull something out... Honours makes a big difference in the civil service! And civil service is where i want to be. I think people must be thinking, stupid idiot, theres a much better world out there! The private sectors will give better!

Sigh, no, i don't like the too competitive and "dark" outside world. I just want a happy simple life. (Although i heard of conspiracy within climbing the public ladders as well... oh well... but may not be as bad right). Besides, i hold a Social Work degree, what do i do with it in the private sector? Admin executive? Or Customer Service Officer?

Anyway, my career path is more or less decided! I know where i am heading. I just don't know how to put it across to others.

I WILL BECOME A SENIOR PRISONS OFFICER.

I want to be in a job that makes a difference to others, to touch others life. So it will not be just a job, it will be what people called "PASSION". Some thing that sitting down in front of the desk churning programming codes will not bring me.

I also want to be in a job which holds a certain level of authority. To satisfy my own internal self-satisfying need to be in control. (Sadistic huh)

I hold a social work degree. Which means, i am trained to help. So i will do it. And did you know that, for the whole goddamn social service, the pay isn't very remarkable. So, to enable my family, my mum, dad, my future wife and children to lead a fairly comfortable life, i think this job should accomplish that. =)

I think people might argue, then its a waste of your social work education! No. My social work background will enable me to be able to better work with these group of people. I am trained to empathised with them, to address their issues and to see things in the social work perspective. So wasted? Nah.

Its just wasted to the Social Service sector that after training me, i am not going to call myself a social worker by designation. Although i still consider myself being part of the social service field. Some might not.