I have been wondering to myself why do i write? Why did i blog whereby i didn't do it before? Why?

Why do people blog? I decided a few reasons. They want to be noticed. They want to leave behind fragments of their existence. They want to share their lifes with others. They have nothing else better to do. They wanted to keep in contact. They read about others, so they decide to give something in return. Everyone is doing it.

Me, when i first started to write, i used it as a channel to vent my frustration. A place where i could, for myself, remember my days as i do not keep a diary. A place where i could relive my feelings again~~

No intention to announce to anyone that i had an online diary, just for me, myself and anyone who happens to chance upon it.

I don't remember when i started telling people that i have a blog, or did i? But it must be pretty soon that i start to have readers, most of who are my close friends, whom in fact, i want them to know what i feel and think now.

So i totally lose to the blogging bug, i visit my own blog to look for comments, for people to tell me that they have being reading from it, and that makes me happy.

When did it happen, that... i start to write for others who reads them and not for myself? When did it happen that whatever i write, i wrote with others in mind, on what they think is nice to read but not just from what i feel. Not that what i wrote are not true, they are, its just that from my point of view, i am writing not for myself anymore.

I've lost it, i realised, that my writing is not as good as before. I used to just write, now i write with a motive.. So much that from a site that has only got a simple layout, a title and some posts, it has evolved into one with tagboards, wishlist, personal pictures and even a visitor counter...

I am not going to change anything on my site, simply because i put in effort to design it. But i will like to now remind myself that i write for the sake of keeping memories, this, i want it to be a place where my memories resides...

Jiaqi said that i "have found a way of ventilation in blogging" and i agreed! This was what i use as a point of focus after what happened between the 2 of us, my way of coping~! Because i did start writing soon after our episode ended. By writing and penning down my feelings, i could become at peace with myself.

I will continue to write, for this is where my memories resides.