The feeling is just so strange.

I have already parted with my girlfriend, yet we have remained such good friends, having go out for late-nite supper every friday, studying together at the airport, discussed our work and studies, argued about what we know about social work...

Its like nothing had ever changed, except that we never identify each other as "Dear" anymore, we no longer hold hand, nor do we kiss anymore.

I very much love things to remain this way as for now, since we have so much other commitments besides one another.

...Yet, yesterday, i found that her words still had a place in my heart, a big place in fact... It had always been like that, her words, her action, whatever she does, can effect my feelings and reactions.

It shouldn't be this way right? I am not her boyfriend anymore, i do not have the obligation as her boyfriend to make sure that she's utimately happy at any point of time anymore. Yet, yesterday, she exclaimed that i was being insensitive to her and i felt bad, so i pacified her all the way home.

I mean, i really did that out of my own accord, the feeling was like before, when we were together and when she had gotten upset, i would have done the same thing...

What's that suppose to mean? I don't know man... I still care about her... in the way i had before. I don't want her sad...

This is so not right. Wat the @#%&...

Hopeless freak.

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Enough of that, have being reading up on the Prospect of becoming a Senior Prisons Officer recently! The advertisements for Prison Services were outrageously firece nowadays... Does that mean that no one is interested in helping those who wanted a second chance in life?

I, for one, feel that they could live with the second chance.

"Prison locked him up for 10 years, the society locked him up for life" -1 more chance.

I believe in the truth of this sentence, and i hope this perception of ex-offenders can and will change. What's wrong with being an ex-offender? What's wrong with hiring one? Doesen't mean his folly of the moment will deem him forever as a bad man, why can't society give them a second chance. Most who went through prisons do change, and they can fully, truly change with the support of the society at large.

I feel for those who went to prisons before, i think basically because i believe in the human's capacity for compassion: "Ren Zi Chu, Xing Ben Shang" and most importantly, i believe that rehab will work for these people, given the right guidance, they will return to the right track.

I finally realised that this was why i had chosen to walk this route, to do social work. Because i believe in people's capacity for change, because i want to empower and help people to change for the better, as well as to satisfy my own desire of being able to help those lesser then me.

Anyway, back to the being a SPO, the idea of rehab fits right into my values. That's why before i came across Prisons Services, i was very into the Probations of youth. That is also rehab, its known as community rehab. The concept is so much the same, except that, as a SPO, you are uniformed, from another ministry and dealing with a different group of people.

The perks of becoming an SPO isn't bad at all, good pay, good benefits, good prospect, just that... I have to pass my IPPT for this job! Well, i figured out, even if i don't do this job, i still have to pass IPPT while serving my 10year cycle... So no difference lah.

So... Now SPO has being added on to the list of job i may take on once i graduate! 1+ years more to go! I can't wait!!

Routes that i may choose to take:
1)MCYS's - Probation Officer (PO)
2)MHA's - Singapore Prisons Services, Senior Prison Officer (SPO)
3)MinDef - Defence Executive Officer (DXO Counseling)
4)Hospital Setting - Medical Social Worker (MSW)