Yesterday night was a night of get-together. It was a gathering of a group of buddies that have not seen each other for a while. Wenjie, Kaisheng, Junming and me. (Minus Vincent who's in the US...)

Congratulations to Kaisheng! Shan't say why! Heehee.

I can't believe we chatted, and until we realised it, its already 12midnight. And i had to break everyone up because i had to work TODAY.

As we talked, Kaisheng asked me how i've been getting on, whether i have moved on. No worries guys, i have! Although the heart is healed, its empty though. He then mentioned that previously, i was the envy of him (which made me very happy at the moment lah) as he thinks i was (notice i use "was") handsome, sung well, and probably also that i had a super nice girlfriend (to him). He thought i had the confidence he lacks (then).

Well, no. I don't think i am handsome, i sing but i don't sing well and most importantly, i don't think i was at any time confident. Not before, most definitely not now. Maybe, i can get confident in front of the right person. So... I'l wait patiently for the person who will bring out that confidence in me.

Maybe, being in a relationship can bring out the confidence in you. Because i see the confident in him now. Contradictorily, i think i am in turn envy of him now. I see in him as someone who is VERY knowledgeble, knows what he wants in life, has personal opinion, is able to engage people, and has become more and more empathetic with those around him. And could it be the relationship that has shaped him into what he is today? Could it have been passed relationship that shaped what i was then and also the failed relationship that too had shaped what i become today?

Anyway, i must thank Vincent for bringing all of us together. Because i don't remember being real close to some of them when we in Sec school, but we became closer now. A little history, i was from a different class from ALL of them, but its because of Vincent that brought us together to hang out (and of coz theres basketball and all).

Honestly, in the group, i still feel a little belittled (even today). Back then, they were from the "elite" class, they go to JC and are now undergrads. I was in the "not-so-elite" class, went to poly and is now in what others considered "private school". Naturally, i feel "out-of-place" when we are together. Of course, i don't think they can do anything about it, it's just me.

The only time when i felt i've won is probably when i was the first among them to get attached. So that probably boost my confident a little. Now that i am single once again (while they are all attached), i probably had "returned" to the "out-of-place" feelings. Plus the difference in our experiences, me working while they study. That probably explained why i was rather quiet during the meet-up. Still, they are close friends definitely! People who (if i allow) will stand up for me.

=)

Sidenote: They say to meet-up again after their exams! And they too say they should bring their partners, so that they (the partners) can know us and each other's partner better. I AM SO NOT GOING! =( Blah. Haha.